Things have been weird lately. Just really freaking crazy. I’ve been in this continual state of mild to moderate stress (with occasional bouts of freaking out) since March and now that things are beginning to settle down, I don’t know what to do with myself.

Urumqi is definitely nothing like we imagined. Even though we were expecting the unexpected, things are so extreme here. We’re never bored, if nothing else. There’s no time for boredom, between the insane thrills and the general insanity that is Life here. But if I ask myself, what have I done since I dropped everything and travelled to the other side of the world? there’s so little that can actually be put on the list:

• Met my extended family
• Got a job teaching English
• Found an apartment

We haven’t even been anywhere outside of Urumqi in the past three months. And yet. Oh gods, the things we’ve done. Or maybe it’s better to say the things that have been done to us. There’s no way I can write it all up that would even come close to doing justice to everything we’ve been through. Has it only been three months? It feels closer to a lifetime. I think back on the the things I thought and said and worried about before leaving the States - or even the ideas that went through my head when I first got here back in January and February and I’m amazed at how young I seem in my own memory. Forever on my life will be split into two periods: Before Urumqi and After Urumqi.

I guess that makes it all sound negetive, and that’s not my intention at all. There were definitely low points (read: the Month of Hell, which I may discuss later if I feel up to it); and yet, not for a moment have I regretted coming here. The things I’ve learned about people and culture and society could fill volumes, and those aren’t even the most interesting bits. And that’s not even to mention how much I’ve learned about myself.

Aja and I keep talking about how we haven’t even begun to process the great majority of the things we’ve experienced here. I’m already in emotional and intellectual and sensual overload with the things that I must deal with while I’m here; everything else gets compartmentalized in my mind -  a kind of defense mechanism - to be taken out of neatly labled boxes and examined carefully at a later date; at a time when I’m somewhere far away, safe where nothing can touch me. Everything touches me here.

Today we’re at Arsilan Aka’s place. It’s one of the houses here in Urumqi that we can get reliable web access, though we still haven’t figured out how to get the internet to work on our own computers. It’s a little annoying, but this will have to do for now.

I do have to admit, though, that the lack of internet access doesn’t bother me nearly as much as it did in France. There’s just too much going on around here for us to worry about such mundane things. Like I said before, the amount of family here is amazing - they’re everywhere. It’s amazing to me how there are always people around to help with any kind of problem we may have, and most of the time they take care of things before any kind of problem even becomes apparent.

I guess since I grew up in a family that’s been completely isolated (culturally, linguistically, geographically), - it’s always been my mom, dad, Camira and myself alone in the world - that the idea of a big family now is still amazing and terrifying to me. It’s completely wonderful to have so many people who care about me on this level. It’s strange and great to see and get to know all these people who knew me when I was little and can even tell me stories about my parents as children. But at the same time, it can be a little overwhelming to go from a family of four to family of 80+.

But overall, Urumqi has been great so far. There’s always something new to do, to see, to eat. I’m having a lot of fun. And if nothing else, this is an amazing way to put off Real Life for awhile longer.